Being a Mary in a Martha World

Written by Rebecca Johnson

Recently, I had to take a break.

Not because I didn’t love God.
Not because I was tired of serving.
But because I realised I was becoming a little too much like Martha.

Now, I’ve always known I carry Martha traits. I’m proactive. I like things done well. I notice what’s out of place. I step in. I fix. I prepare. I host. I organise. But this time, it hit differently.

I wasn’t just serving, I was striving.

We live in a Martha world.

A world that applauds productivity.
A world that celebrates being booked and busy.
A world that measures value by output.

The one who works the hardest gets the praise.
The one who carries the most gets the recognition.
The one who is always doing is seen as the most devoted.

But in Luke 10:38–42, Jesus gently disrupts that mindset.

Martha is preparing.
Mary is present.

And Jesus says something radical:

“Mary has chosen what is better.”

Not because serving is wrong.

But because presence is primary.

In Luke 10:38–42, we meet two sisters: Mary and Martha.

Martha is busy preparing.
Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet.

Martha becomes frustrated and asks Jesus,
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?”

And Jesus responds gently:

“Martha, Martha… you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better.”

For years, I read this story like it was about “the good sister” and “the bad sister.” But as I re-read it recently, I realised something deeper. It wasn’t about one sister being too much, it was about timing.

The Weight Martha Was Carrying

Martha may have felt responsible. Maybe she was used to hosting.
Maybe she was the dependable one. Maybe she felt like if she didn’t do it, no one would.

I understand that.

There’s a quiet pressure in being the capable one.
The reliable one.
The one who makes sure everything runs smoothly.

And sometimes, when you’re that person, you don’t just serve. You carry. You carry expectation, standards, perfectionism.

If I’m honest, I’ve realised I can be a bit of a perfectionist.
(And I’m sharing that openly, so please don’t use it against me, lol.)

But perfectionism often disguises itself as excellence and excellence can slowly turn into exhaustion.

The Pressure to Perform

If we’re honest, some of us feel more comfortable doing than sitting.

Doing gives us control.
Doing gives us measurable results.
Doing gives us visible impact.

Sitting requires trust. Trust that the dishes can wait. Trust that the emails will still be there.
Trust that God doesn’t need our constant movement to accomplish His will.

Being a Mary in a Martha world means resisting the pressure to prove your devotion through exhaustion.

It means remembering: ‘You are a human being, not a human doing.’

Living Differently

Being a Mary in a Martha world looks like:

• Protecting quiet time even when you’re busy
• Saying no when your schedule says yes
• Valuing intimacy over image
• Choosing depth over performance

It means understanding that your worth is not tied to your output. Jesus did not love Mary more because she sat. But He affirmed that she understood something vital: ‘Being with Him is the foundation for everything else.’

Living Differently

Being a Mary in a Martha world looks like:

• Protecting quiet time even when you’re busy
• Saying no when your schedule says yes
• Valuing intimacy over image
• Choosing depth over performance

It means understanding that your worth is not tied to your output. Jesus did not love Mary more because she sat. But He affirmed that she understood something vital: ‘Being with Him is the foundation for everything else.’

A Gentle Invitation

Maybe you’ve been striving. Maybe you’ve been equating productivity with purpose. Maybe you’ve been serving so much that you forgot how to sit.

This is your gentle reminder:

• Dishes can wait.
• Deadlines can pause.
• His presence cannot be replaced.

In a world that constantly tells you to move faster, do more, and carry heavier… Jesus still invites you to sit. And sometimes, choosing to sit is the most radical act of faith you can make.